Pally'Hi Stuns the World with Frankenstein's Sheep

Last week Pally’Hi, the Premium Merino Outfitter, shocked scientists, incensed religious leaders and baffled the general public with the unveiling of Bolly, the first animal/plant cross-breed. Bolly, a genetical 50/50 split between Bamboo and Merino sheep, was created by scientists in Germany for her superior quality, textile-ready coat. 

Bolly’s cells photosynthesise and therefore she feeds primarily on sunlight, but in winter months, when sunlight hours are fewer, she supplements her diet by nibbling on her thick coat of Bamboo shoots, avoiding the Merino hairs which keep her warm. Growing by up to a meter in height each year, to a maximum height of 3m, Bolly is understandably a headache for sheep shearers and sheep dogs, both of which are terrified of her towering height and unusual appearance.  

On the unveiling of Bolly, Pally’Hi’s eccentric founder, Peter Bauer, said: 

“The potential for this new technology is unprecedented. Imagine how good Schweinebraten will be when we can successfully breed a pig with an onion!”

Pally’Hi is currently using a hybrid Bamboo/Wool fabric spun from Bolly’s luscious coat to produce its spring/summer collection. It claims the fabric, which is cool to the touch and has great sweat-wicking properties, is ideal for climate control during warmer summer months.


Tags: April Fools